I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
