guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
