My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
