my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
