just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
