FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
