Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
