God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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