I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
