Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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