They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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