spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
