i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
