His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
