Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
