at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
