White coat. Heels.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
