Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
