first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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