will power is for people who don't want to get laid
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
