I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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