we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
