im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
