I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
