ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
