It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
