Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
