This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
