nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
