is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
