Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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