You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
