no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
