What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
