i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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