I showed him my bush... on skype.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
