We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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