I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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