he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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