i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
