why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
