8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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