I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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