I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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