sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Girls should come with a carfax report
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
