bring money and cleavage
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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