Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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