Yo dont text me then not text me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
