Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
