Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
