"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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