i jhust puked up my retainher.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
