Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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