We won't sleep together?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
