I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
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