Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
