I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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