$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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