A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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