It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
