we have officially lost it.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Randomize
