Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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