fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
